Spirituality is such a beautiful thing. I love that I can make it my own and believe what resonates with me. I am still figuring out exactly what spirituality means to me but I do believe that angels and spirit guides watch over us and it gives me hope and allows me to have faith.
Everyday I talk to my loved ones who have passed on for strength and support. Although sometimes I wonder if anyone is even listening or if I am just talking to myself lol but I continue to have faith and I continue to receive little signs that they are with me!
Last night, I was sitting outside in Newport thinking how I have been coming here since I was a kid and how many fun times I’ve had here and how many amazing memories I’ve made with family & friends over the years. I was sitting alone outside on the balcony watching all the people below talking, laughing, walking around, eating & drinking, and enjoying life. And as I sat there, all I could think was how I wish I could be out there having fun and loving life instead of being stuck in pain and in bed all day with a couple trips out to the balcony here and there. I want so bad to be seeing Newport through smiling eyes instead of crying eyes.
I start to feel alone because as everyone else is living life, I feel like mine is standing still and like I am a bystander instead of a participant. I feel an uncontrollable sadness come over me and wonder if things will ever get better but I don’t want to go down a negative spiral so I turn to my thoughts over to spirituality and I remind myself that I am a fighter (I may be an emotional fighter lol but I’m still a fighter)!
When I start to get upset, I turn my attention to my faith because I want to believe in the power of miracles. I started talking to my loved ones who have passed asking them for strength and courage to keep fighting. As I was talking to them, a white feather came floating down onto the balcony and I just smiled knowing that was my guardian angels way of letting me know they are there and I am never alone. It was so beautiful and it turned my whole way of thinking around from being sad and feeling like a victim to my illness to feeling grateful and empowered to keep going in positivity.
There are always signs for us if we allow our hearts to be open and keep our eyes open for them! The more I focus my attention on my spirituality, the more these little signs appear and I know it is my loved ones watching over me and loving me from above and giving me strength to keep fighting! It reassures me that although things can get really tough sometimes, I can do this and I can keep finding my way back to positivity with the help of my faith!